Wednesday, November 23, 2016

A love letter to 2016

Dearest 2016,
 I was nervous when you showed up, and I wasn't sure if we'd be friends. I didn't know if you would be on my side or betray me like so many before. You've been quite a ride, not too scary and didn't need Dramamine, but a fun and exciting experience. Overall I'm thankful for you, let me count the ways....

In January I was let go of a job I believed in. I knew it was coming, or had a feeling for a while, but still when it came I was terrified. Two days later, I was offered the opportunity to return to a previous role in a higher position with a more than acceptable pay increase. I fell up, to say the least. I returned to the company I whole heartedly believe in, with incredible and honorable leadership and hands down the best coworkers I could ask for. This job has not come without a lot of work, but it's work I love. It makes me laugh, brings me joy, challenges me, stretches me, and I feel a valued part of the team. 

I ended a relationship with a kind man who taught me an incredible amount about myself and being loved and accepting help. I was blessed to spend time with an unexpected old/new friend. He's a kind-hearted, generous, confusing but gentle giant. He was an adventure and he too taught me much, but above all, that I deserve to be pursued and cherished. I've learned that I'm not too hard to love. That I have the ability to fight for what I want, compromise, and put in the work when the time comes for me to love again. I so want to love again.
I've once again, through this year, been reminded of how abundantly blessed I am when it comes to the people I'm surrounded by.  Whether it's my incredible family - aunts, uncles, cousins and everyone in between - I'm so happy to also call them my friends. There are so many actual friends that feel a whole lot more like family:  those I see every day that hear my laughing and crying and terrible singing through my cubical walls. My dearest most favorite friends who walk with me through all the valley's, relentlessly hear my hearts cry, my biggest celebrations, my foul mouth and (self-proclaimed) hilarious things I say. There are those I've been able to link arms:  my mom friends, my divorced friends, my work friends, my prayer warriors- we'll all get through this together.  My incredible guys and their beyond wonderful wives, as we tell alllll the funny stories of years past and who make me laugh until I run out of happy tears, and my belly aches in the best way. They have a way of making me feel more loved and protected than anyone else. Or my favorite friend that's been around for about 14 years, who half the time I want to kill and the other half I want to love, but who I cherish and would be lost without- so, fire away. I'm not certain what I've done or why God's surrounded me with this perfect-to-me group of people, but I know there would be no 'me' without them.

2016, you gave me the chance to spend more time with my little sister than I ever have in my life. I was honored to cheer her on in huge milestones and am in awe of her bravery and resilience. I got to swim in Medina Lake for the first time in about 8 years and share that experience with my children. I celebrated my best friends nuptials with her kinder than kind husband and danced the night away. My sweet heart, goofy brother made me an aunt to my first blood nephew. I battled depression and anxiety. I'm BROKE. I'm tired. I reunited with friends and family lost in divorce. I learned about self-love and seeing my worth.  I've fallen in love with podcasts, iced coffee, Jazz, TX, and my kids again and again and again.

These last few years haven't been kind, but 2016, other than our presidential election shit-storm, a few heartaches and some hail damage, you've been alright. I'm thankful for you, and I'm not sure I'd change a dang thing. Life is good, and my heart is so happy.

Big Love,