I wasn't lost, I just took the wrong train

Last week in San Francisco I took the BART to meet some family for dinner... and then quickly realized I was on the wrong train going the wrong direction.

Before my trip I sat with a great friend who lived in San Francisco and she helped me map out my trip.  I told her I was planning to meet some family in Walnut Creek and they mentioned it would be about a 45 min BART ride. Me, a privileged South Texas girl who has never really needed to use public transit, felt a little nervous but knew it was figureoutable (that’s a word).  My knowledgeable San Fran friend explained it to me, showed me maps, and I felt confident I could tackle this venture. 

I found my way down the stairs, I got my clipper card, and down another set of stairs to where the train would stop.  There are two sides to the platform, I found the side with the destination Walnut Creek on the sign and I was ready! The train pulled up, I hopped on, and was on my way! It was also about 4:30pm so it was PACKED. All got dark for a bit as we went under the bay (which I had to just not really think about because WHAT THE HECK!? TERRIFYING.)  

I’m not sure what it was that triggered me…I am not familiar with California, the landmarks, or the stops on this trains path… but something told me I was not on the right train. I pulled up my map, and sure enough. NOPE. 

I immediately took a screen shot and sent it to my family and said, “I feel like I’m not going the right way…’’ They confirmed to which I simply responded “dammit.”

So, my stomach jumped just a bit, said a few bad words, laughed at myself, and got off the train immediately.

I realized my error, I was on the correct side of the platform, however there are multiple trains that take different paths, even though they’re initially headed in the same direction. Instead of waiting for the right one, I got on the first one in the right direction.

It was a beautiful day; the Athletics stadium and Oracle Arena were right next to me so I used the opportunity to take a moment of silence for my Spurs who were just knocked out of the playoffs by the Golden State Warriors days prior…I wouldn’t have seen that had I not made the mistake.

I didn’t just get in a cab and let it take me where I needed to be, they didn’t tell me to just stay put so they could come and get me. That would have taken way longer and would have robbed me of a life experience. I just felt the gentle jump in my gut of ‘yikes, this is so unfamiliar, I have no idea what I’m doing.’ I felt bad that I was running a little behind schedule. But they weren’t upset, they knew it was part of the journey. It was part of my experience. Even though my cousin gently poured salt on my Spurs shaped wound.

I wasn’t lost, I just took the wrong train. I got to see some cool stuff along the way. It took a little extra time to get where I was going, but it was all part of the experience. My family was texting helping me to get on the correct train, and then when it came, I still had to pay attention and double check to make another swap to get to the one that would eventually get me to my destination. They were helping me navigate, but it was still up to me to get on the right one.  I got to where I needed to be.  My family hugged me and we all laughed when I arrived.

I came across this photo of me from that day when I was waiting for the next right train to come.  At that moment the lighting was perfect, the wind was dancing about, and I felt so happy. I was in the wrong place, but I felt such joy.

Our job in life isn’t to rescue each other. Our job is to see people where they are, offer the help we can, and then know that they have to pay attention to get to where they’re going… and if they still miss the train? Well, there will always be another one to get back. They will get where they’re going eventually.

If I hadn’t made those mistakes, I wouldn’t have learned the BART and how to use it to get to the airport a couple days later. I learned something, I experienced life through that wrong train.

My people championed me. They didn’t rescue me, or get mad at me for the delay, or for the foul words. They just helped me from where they were, and they were there to pick me up when I finally arrived.

I wasn’t lost, I just took the wrong train.